Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Bounce

Why is it necessary for some men to walk with a Bounce ? Why do they feel it necessary to alter natural human gait and walk in a manner which resembles the Stay puff marshmallow man ? This Bounce is a purely male thing as I've never witnessed a women bounce. Is it some kind of macho thing? or are their brains not in sync so the one half of their body struggles to keep up with the other? I cant explain it.

I was walking to Mosque the other day and I just observed a couple of youngsters as they walked and they all were bouncing as if the pavement was made of a spongy substance. I mean if its a macho thing to try to impress girls then why would you do it on the way to Mosque? Are the younger generation evolving? has it got something to do with the gradual disappearance of the baby toe in humans? what is it?

And does it in fact impress you girls out there?

Now with this group of youngsters (I can now use the term youngers or whipper snappers because im on the brink of a quarter century) i noticed a couple of different bounces.

The Macho Man
This bounce is played out usually by small males who pretend they have massive arms or "Guns". They walk with their "guns" on their sides and they swivel their hips which gives the appearance that their guns are amazingly buff and awesome. Also they choose to wear muscle tops which showcase their Guns or lack thereof and which would look better on a Skeleton.

The lopsided Slider
This is the domain of the thin gangly variety of male. They move so as to appear to side and not walk . The one shoulder drops more than the other and with the next step it springs back up before shooting back down. This is probably because they only hava half a brain so they can balance and remaining mass of ganglions. Ive seen Eminem walk in this manner before.

The Bobbing man.
This seems to affect a general poulace but you will notice this type of bounce when the male seems to constantly bounce in small repetitive bounces. Like he has ants in his pants and cant help bet contantly move up and down like a malfunctioning piston.

The Half man
This seems to be more of a degenerative mutuation. You may have seen this in the latest spiderman 3 movie when toby maguire (A.k.a Spidermoffie) is influenced by the symbiote venom and he does that ridiculous walk down the road (Cringe, Die, Turn Away and Vomit). Just thinking about it is painful.

Now im sure their is a reason for this weird type of walk which is obviously against nature but I cant quite put my finger on it. Ladies I ask again do you find it attractive?

Kuwabara Kuwabara
The Lone Writer


bb_aisha said...

Definitely not attractive!

But guys say girls bounce when we're in heels-I don't see it though

Mohamed Karolia said...

Thank you, I think its terrible. Even if you girls bounce you have a reason the heels. If a guy wore heels bouncing would be the least of his worries

Anonymous said...

i just evolved a whole new definition of a half man yesterday. it is weird how it just came up while the thought of a man who completely infuriated me came to my head.
if i were to define a half man, i'd say a man who comes in and walks out from lives as he pleases and blames it on his parents by saying 'oh my parents wont agree' and to top that will also say, my friends think now is not the time... who made you man then? my question! i think i am still very infuriated!

KiLLa said...

Well.. Some girls butt cheeks move like they chewing chappies when they in heels.. Dont see me complaining

Azra said...

LOL...I agree, its horrible. I can't take any man who "bounces" seriously.

I think it's the whole male ego thing being played out in the steps they take.

Saaleha Bamjee-Mayet said...

There is something to this. Perhaps we could harness the energy from the 'bounce' and supplement the power grid?
Does Eskom know about this?

Safiyya... said...

i agree with bb_aisha- i also dont see the bounce...

Zahera said...

What about the "penguin" :-D thats one we used to discuss quite alot back in the UK.

No Karoles- bounce= not attractive in the least and if you or any of the guys were to start prancing around like prats then id have to slap youse all sillies with a wet fish :-D... you have been warned.

Trinity said...

This is so funny and true!

But guys don’t bounce like they use to in the 90’s. When doc martins and plaid shirts were in fashion – guys back then use to bounce like they had springs glued to their right foot and a stick tied to their left.

floreta said...


i do not think this kind of thing is attractive.. definitely devolving.. not evolving! i think it just looks completely silly. people should just walk normally..

Prixie said...

HATE IT, LOATH IT! merely erading about it gives me the creeps!

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