Saturday, December 22, 2007

Unlocking the true Elegance Of a Women

What makes a women Elegant? Its something men look for in a women and women strive to attain (well some do). The word "Elegant" may in some of us conjure up preconceived images of elegance, probably seen in a Hollywood starlet or just an idea which you cannot describe until you see it in someone, a personal definition of sorts. Elegance is an abstract concept and fairly personal but is still universal as everyone looks for it. Elegance is most of the time restricted to the physical realm but I feel this is where the modern women falls short. Only worrying about their external appearance and hence serving out false elegance and frankly a western elegance. Is Elegance only external? or can a women attain internal elegance and become mentally elegant? I think there is both a mental and physical part to a women's elegance and hence beauty, but the mental part sets the stage for everything else. When a women is internally elegant then it will manifest on the outside. The way she dresses. the way she conducts herself, the way she interacts with those around her and her level of modest will all be indicators of her mental elegance.

This is a gross generalization but western culture is destroying the concept of mental elegance in women and replacing it with a warped form of physical elegance which is based on the adage that "less is more". Less is less not more but and in todays world in order for women to be liberated and empowered it means that they should walk around half naked and flaunt themselves in front of men like showgirls in cabaret. Where is the liberation? or did I miss something? Western "liberated" women look down upon the eastern cultures (specifically Muslim women) pitying women who don't feel the need to display their figures to strange men. The west sees it as backwards or archaic and an obstacle to womens rights, I see the west's idea of elegance as a destruction of modesty. This western elegance is pushing mental elegance and modesty into the background and our young girls and even older women are being washed away by this tidal wave of western elegance. Women conform to their (the west) ideas and then suffer from anorexia, bulimia and other eating disorders because they have to live up to a norm or else they wont be able to conform or fit into clothes which are not even fit to be a swimming costume. Please I'm not saying that women should be kept at home and should be deprived from an education and a life, women should be given the same opportunities as men and even more being the mothers of the nation, im just drawing your attention to the rapid decline of modesty.

Personally I look for mental elegance, not this physical falsehood which fades with time. Mental elegance lasts forever no matter how old or frail you are. You may not get a lot of heads turning but you will get respect and that is far more valuable than anything a plunging neck line could get you. Its easier to treat a women like a diamond and a queen when she treats herself like one.

I got this article in an email, im not sure about its authenticity but its pertinent and probably shows the mindsets of a lot of the men "western" women try to attract.

The Elegance of the Modest Woman Toronto Star - Jan. 23,

While out for dinner last week with colleagues, we sat beside three
20-something women. There was the usual posing and glances exchange,
as they paid their bill two Muslim women entered and sat nearby.
Whispers were quickly exchanged and we could hear, "Why do they wear
those things anyway?" .... "I feel sorry for them" ... and so on.

As they filed out of the restaurant, we noticed they sported a mixed
collection of the following: skin tight pants, short skirts, exposed
midriffs, push-up bras, high heels, jewelry, see-through or plunging
tops, piercings, lipstick and makeup, and one had breast implants for

We observed the two Muslim women as they were engaged in close
conversation over coffee. Their graceful features complimented their dark
and warm eyes. Their natural gestures were flirty without even trying -
revealing natural beauty. And their clothes, while conservative,
brought forth the hidden potential of something wonderful and truly

The idea of dressing modestly terrifies some western women - but why?
Perhaps it would trample their "right" to show off. Would their
self-esteem fall along with their hemlines? After some debates, we identified the
cost of the western "right" to flaunt. The Muslim women were free from the
fashion trap -free to "just be" without posing, comparing, dieting and
spending for the approval of men and each other. And they looked more
desirable to us than the exhibitionists who were in the restaurant and
parading on the sidewalk.

The sexual displays in our culture are so mainstream and competitive
that modesty is seen as regressive. Yet, long term, when a man looks
past the tight pants and heels, he will ultimately detect not
confidence, but a certain unattractive desperation. Modest women
don't have that desperation - they don't compete in the arena of vanity.

They have themselves - and that's the kind of attraction with legs to last the long run.
Remember that the next time you feel sorry for a Muslim woman.

R. Stevenson

North York

True Elegance is Modesty, True Elegance is Mental Elegance


The Lone Writer


queen_Lestat said...

Elegance is modesty. Elegance is classy and elegance is timeless.Though most of the time true elegance is never noticed until someone else spots it first.Elegance and grace are also often confused.Elegance and fashion are also confused.Hmmm...

r said...

beautiful post :) love it! True elegance is the way a woman reacts to things around her and how much she gives off herself, not how much she shows off herself..

Infinium said...

lol, me thinks its time for the peanut gallery to unleash itself now:

Versace makes some elegant evening wear, hahahaha...

But on a more serious note,

i think that elegance comes from the way someone carries themselves, and sometimes(not always) it will be reflected in the way they dress, also I'm off the opinion that elegance shouldn't be wholly contained to the female branch of the human race, it should apply to everyone.

cathy said...

Muslim women are not the only example of this inner elegance. Many weatern women do not conform to the fashionable "norm".
I think using women who are oppressed as an example undermines your very important point.

The K-man said...

Cathy: Thats the thing, muslim women are not oppressed, that western propoganda. In islam women are not forced to wear the veil or the scarf , it is their personal choice. A choice of modesty. And alot of the time cultural norms are mistaken for islam norms. I did state that its a huge generalization, and I myself know christian, hindu and jewish women who are modest and elegant.

But Muslim women are not oppressed.

The Organ Harvester said...

elegance is the woman who receives respect without having to wear a dick, without having to show a boob or play figurine to men to be noticed. And the funny thing is that most men are attracted to women project a maturity and sincerity in their manner and actions. Elegant is not the flirt that seeks out attention like a heat-seeker.

but hey what do I know.

Infinium's comments was class.

cathy said...

I will concede that not ALL muslim women are oppressed and indeed that some western women are. I could talk for hours about oppression and the tools of oppression but just let me lower the tone for a moment ....


bb_aisha said...

Elegance is an attitude, an internal certainty which manifests itself externally. It's not just about dressing. But I do think women in abaya always look classy & elegant.

Cathy-yes, certain Muslim women are oppressed, but not by Islam. They are oppressed by men-like countless other women of different creeds.

Libra said...

I think conceptions of beauty get confused with notions of what constitutes 'elegance'. When people speak of elegance, they usually mean what is refined and sophisticated. I think it has more to do with grace and immense self-possession - these are worthy much-lacked qualities in both men and women of today's society and the past's. As you suggest, this is closely bound up with dignity and self-respect, qualities that Islam sees embodied in modesty. And that is a particular, though by no means unique, perception.

Dew said...

Aww this was a beautiful post K.

Thnaks for that read. Made me feel better about those of us who try to avoid dressing for attention.

ZK said...

i know i know this not the place to say it but you removed your cbox so i will use this platform :P

you said it all on elegance so with regard to that NO COMMENT :)

M Junaid said...

update beeyotch!
mwah - thinking about you.
devil may cry is out next week - can you feel it

Laura said...

I appreciate your post and agree...elegance is modesty and class, manners and ettiquette. Self esteem and the way one carries themselves portrays true elegance, no matter who they are or what size they are.