Hello darkness, my old friend

Im listening to Simon and Garfunkels "The Sound of Silence" hence the title of this post. Can’t remember when I downloaded it but I am glad I did considering not many people these days even know who they are let alone that they were musicians. It's a really cool song with great lyrics but has absolutely nothing to do with Im about to write and the title doesn’t either. Just thought it had a nice ring to it don’t you think?

Campus starts again for yet another year on the 12th of Feb. So another year of similar trials, tribulations, more white hair and hopefully some new experiences. Well one new experience ill be undergoing is attempting to make a whole lot of new friends. Now im not anti social or a guy who lurks in the shadows and calls himself by a super hero alias, im as friendly as the next guy though a tad bit shy but that’s another kettle of fish.

Making friends is a skill that you first get introduced to in nursery or preschool. Your parents leave you in an unfamiliar place, you surrounded by kids crying their eyes out and small furniture and you expected to make friends with no previous experience and you do somehow. The exact method is variable and I doubt anyone has perfected it because there is so much to take into consideration when attempting to become someone’s friend.

Now fast forward and the method to make friends is still elusive. I have a lot of friends who I met on campus but I have no idea how I got to know them or when did we become such good friends. The transition from strangers to friends was a complete blur, or has been erased from my mind and since we don’t live in the movies I doubt that’s a possibility. I made these friends and then didn’t feel the need to make new friends since i was so comfortable with them. Now for the first time on campus my friends are all finished and im alone on campus. No crew no nothing. So now the task of making friends.

We never really escape that first day in preschool, all nervous and impressionable without a clue as to what we should or shouldn’t be doing and I feel like im right back there. I’m not a loner I do have acquaintances on campus but not friends. Ok so you meet someone greet and smile so it shows you are friendly hmmm but what if they think you being funny or pretentious. So you keep more of a straight face and try to be as truthful as possible without seeming like you are a bleeding heart and suffer from verbal diarrhea. Then you chat about random stuff such as the weather or some similarly obvious topic and always seem to be stating the bleeding obvious, but you know you cant chat about that stuff forever so then you try to bring in something you both have in common be it work, a mutual friend, movies or music (voice in head says "don’t bring up star wars please don’t") etc. However this may end up being boring and the person may think you are a bore of note if your tastes don’t exactly correspond so you turn on the humor. Now the choice is to go with subtle humor, slapstick, making fun of yourself or go with some risqué humor. Any humor should work right? I mean people like it when you funny? No not really you may over do it and they may think that you a complete clown that cant say anything without laughing like a donkey, so then to show you not a fool you start talking about something serious, maybe world news or the state of affairs in the country. Now don’t get carried away just relax. The conversation ends and most of the time you have no idea what you have just said. Got to be an easier way. Ok the above is a slight exaggeration or maybe it isn’t who knows.

Now you can talk yourself blue in the face and be the friendliest person on the planet but if that person or persons won’t let you into their circle of friendship you have no hope. The first impression lasts pops into mind. Now if you trying to impress someone are you really yourself? The first time you meet someone you are generally nervous or cautious at what you say so how can someone judge you? Make a good impression I understand but what if it takes a false impression for it to be a good one? Even if you pull it off can you maintain it? Can you live a lie? Ok this is abit dramatic I know.

Friendship is like any relationship both parties have to work on it. Compromises, respect, and what not. Friendship is not a competition I don’t want to be impressed by my friend or be in awe of his achievements, we should be equal and should not need to compete. Its not hard to make friends but to make the right friends takes abit of searching. The key is being yourself and not changing for anyone or for anything. You will eventually find people like minded and similar to yourself. Your friends should like you for who you are not what you are. So im just going to be myself, plain old K-man, and if I bring up Chewbacca in a conversation so be it that’s me. So my search for new friends to supplement my old ones begins wish me luck!

Kuwabara, Kuwabara
The Lone Writer